Pieces of Mae: Happiness is

Showing posts with label Happiness is. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Number 17: 30 Before 30

Compiling my “30 Before 30” list was a lot more challenging than I had imagined it to be. I created the list to send off my 20s feeling accomplished and give some meaning to the day of the big 3-0. I wanted my 30 things to be of meaning to me, to challenge me and spice up my last year in my 20s. My list began as a list of things I love doing that I never make time for. And that’s when I realized that the list was too easy to achieve.

I really wanted to test myself and set some personal goals that would require some real effort to accomplish. So I thought about things I hate to do and the first thing that came to mind was running. I absolutely loathe it! I find no enjoyment in it whatsoever. I feel like I’m dying when I run (yes, a tad dramatic). Don’t get me wrong, I can power walk in a pair of five-inch platform stilettos like it’s nobody’s business. But running? Ugh! So onto the list it went. “Run a 5k.” And for me, that’s no easy feat.

As much as I hate running I decided to have fun with it. I signed up for “The Color Run 5k” after a recommendation from my friend Allison. Any 5k described as “the happiest 5k on the planet” was worth a shot. And then I decided to ask my sister and two cousins to join me to form a team. I knew I would need a lot of motivation to do this so having them by my side was probably the only way I actually would follow through on it.

The training was horrid. I hated every minute of it. I started running in the spring using the “Couch to 5k” app for iPhone. At the beginning of my training I was fine because I was also using the elliptical and going for daily walks on my lunch break at work. But then I sprained my back in a car accident and sidelined the running for two months. When I started again (I am not proud to say this) I complained… ALOT. Oh boy was I miserable on those few runs I actually did take leading up to the race.

But guess what? I DID IT! We did it, all four of us. Well, 5 of us, because my cousin’s husband ran with us, motivated us, and of course took some lovely pictures of us getting “colored” during the run. Going into the race I did not expect to finish, let alone run the entire thing. But it was so much fun! Yes, those are words even I can’t believe came out of my mouth that day.

It was a great feeling to cross the finish line covered in rainbow colors with my family by my side while my husband and daughter waited for me at the finish line. I really hope that by watching me run, my daughter can learn something about setting personal goals no matter the challenge they present. I am so thankful to my sister and cousins for running with me, and I am so ready for my next 5k with them…just not the training in between!

Pre-race team photo

Post race colors!

Team Amazing Grey's

Time to celebrate

Enjoying the post-race color party!!

Spreading color

The Color Run = Happy!

The Color Run 5k New Jersey event specifically partnered with a local charity called Back On My Feet - Philadelphia, a national non-profit organization that uses running to help those experiencing homelessness change the way they see themselves so they can make real change that results in employment and independent living.

Monday, September 2, 2013

So Long Summer

It's September. How did that happen? I spent the entire summer NOT BLOGGING. It's been quite an eventful summer and even year for that matter. I cannot believe we are in the home stretch for 2014 and about to head back to school.

The last 8 months have been pretty amazing though. We've taken so many day-trips and mini-vacations (my job-hopping prevented a full vacation this year). We've spent so much quality time with family near and far. I RAN A 5K! Who knew I could do that. I recently was hired for a job that I spent the last 20 months working toward. I eliminated soy from my diet (for the most part) so my belly is much happier with me (and even my chronic migraines have managed to disappear). And as a family we are eating so much healthier! It's been a great year, a positive and progressive one; a big year!

And this one also turned 7! How did that happen?!

There are still four long months left in this gorgeous year and we sure have a lot planned to fill up those coming months. Most importantly, I have some catching up to do with my 30 before 30 list. This has been such a positive year so far. It's the first good, low-stress year I've had in a really long time. And it's almost autumn... my absolute favorite time of year!

Saturday, April 6, 2013

A 24-hour Refresher

It's been a while and we've been busy. My daughter has been on spring break this week so we've been on the move! I also never posted my Day 31 of the blog challenge. I kind of skipped that post on purpose. I hate endings. I try not to acknowledge them. So I didn't because I didn't want the challenge to come to an end!

One thing that has finally come to an end that I'm very happy about though has been this much too long winter. Winter came exactly one week after Hurricane Sandy hit us. We had our first winter snow and became gripped by winter's relentless cold fist during the first week of November and it hasn't let go until this weekend. We have had snow and grey for far too long this year it was hard not to feel affected by it. Lots of Vitamin D kept me as perky as I could be during the long winter.

A few hours ago I returned from a quick overnight trip out in Lancaster, PA. It's a favorite clear my head spot of mine as it's so rural with big open spaces and narrow winding roads. The simple Amish life dotting the landscape is very grounding as well. After a long few weeks at work I finally feel refreshed.

My daughter and I perused one of the local villages in Intercourse, PA this afternoon and stocked up on her favorite Jams and preserves at the local canning and jarring company. I'm excited to try their new Blueberry Pomegranate jam. Afterward we popped into a local Art Gallery where Ava fell in love with a few landscapes. She couldn't understand how someone could paint so well that it would look just like a picture. She's really enamored with modern art so the realist paintings were very new to her. But she appreciated them. One such painting she was in awe of was an original Andrew Wyeth.

It pleased me that she dragged me into the gallery and she led through it and started conversations with me about the art. Many trips to the art museums of New York have really had their impact on her which makes me smile. Their collection was mostly local but still much to appreciate.

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Day 30: What's Your Favorite Flavor of Ice Cream? - 31 Day Blog Challenge

My favorite flavor is not necessarily an ice cream. When I crave a cold refreshing treat that usually means we are heading to The Bent Spoon in Princeton. In the shadow of Princeton University is the best artisan sorbet I've had. Of course the fact that it's created with local ingredients (some of which are grown at our favorite orchard) makes it that much better too.

We are die hard Spoonies. Although they have so many amazing and often interesting flavors of organic sorbets and ice creams I always go for the organic raspberry sorbet. It is the best I've had anywhere. My daughter is in love with their organic mango sorbet so the two of us are always so predictable with our orders. The daring one in the group is my husband. He's been trying a different flavor every time. Just writing this is making me crave some. Maybe we'll take a trip to savor some this week since it is spring break. And maybe one day I'll finally break my pleasant habit order the lavender mascarpone I've been dying to try.

My daughter with her mango, my raspberry and my husband went for coconut ice cream.

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Are you keeping up with the challenge? Head over to Fabulous Finds by Tiffany to link up and read about other bloggers favorite seasons. Or you can check out my past Blog Challenge posts here:

Day 29: What's Your Favorite Time of Year and Why?

In New Jersey we are fortunate to experience all four seasons. The beginning of each of them is always exciting, enjoyable and something to look forward to. But my favorite time of year has always been fall and my favorite month has always been October.

Through spring and summer the trees are waiting patiently in the wings. They go mostly unnoticed in spring if they're not the flowering kind. They then offer much needed shade on those thick, moist summer days. But once fall comes they finally have their chance to take center stage. The foliage is not only breathtaking but offers such an overwhelmingly pleasant aroma of the landscape to enjoy simultaneously. The crunch of the leaves underfoot also elates me.

I was fortunate enough to find myself traveling through the Swiss, Austrian and German Alps during mid-October in 2005 during the peak foliage week. It was breathtaking and a fall I will never forget. It was absolutely the perfect time for me to be exploring those countries. We drove from country to country passing old castles in ruins and exploring the perfectly preserved castles of Ludwig's grand estates. This photo is one I snapped looking out from Neuschwanstein. It was the King's view and it's one of my favorite photos of mine that represent my favorite time of year.

The view from Neuschwanstein in Bavaria, Germany

Autumn in New York is pretty Grand too!

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Are you keeping up with the challenge? Head over to Fabulous Finds by Tiffany to link up and read about other bloggers favorite seasons. Or you can check out my past Blog Challenge posts here:

Monday, March 25, 2013

Day 25: Describe Your Location - 31 Day Blog Challenge

When I look out my window I see the street that knew my bike tires well as a little girl. At the end of our street is what we referred to as our "Dead Man's Hill." It is the hill that slopes steeply down the bluff we live atop right up to the creek that feeds the marshes and wetlands we overlook.

A few blocks away is the street I grew up on, Mae, and I still carry the pieces of my life there with me every single day. My stomping grounds included the forest behind my parents house with countless brooks that led to the creek and marshes. If we weren't in the street playing with all the kids on the block we were down in the woods building forts, exploring, hiking, even hunting for Indian and Revolutionary War artifacts that our parents made us turn over to the local State Museum. We didn't need toys in this neighborhood, we had such big imaginations.

Summers on Mae were the best times so it's no wonder I settled so close to where I grew up. I have always loved the location as well. We are halfway between New York City and Philadelphia which we frequent often and minutes from Princeton (where I also work). We can get to the Jersey Shore in under 30 minutes. We have 127 miles of gorgeous Jersey coastline (not to be confused with MTV's portrayal). And there is so much history at our fingertips.

I may be in the suburbs in an extremely overcrowded town but our piece of land is very secluded, tucked away in a quiet neighborhood that overlooks some pretty amazing sunsets. We are surrounded by such a culture rich environment that it satisfies our every thirst.

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Monday, March 18, 2013

Day 18: Where Are You Happiest? - 31 Day Blog Challenge

I find that I am happiest two places. I'm a joyful happy when surrounded by family and friends I love so dearly. And I'm a peaceful happy when I immerse myself in nature.

Don't let my stilettos fool you, I'm a nature girl by heart. I grew up surrounded by my large family and we most often found ourselves surrounded by nature. Whether it be in my own backyard that overlooked a vast wetlands of marshes and thick woods or the many vacations we took to different State and National forests. Inserting our large seven person family into such an even bigger National Park like Acadia really threw perspective in my face. We were like tiny ants in this vast mountainous gorgeous park that was swallowed up by the ocean on all sides.

To this day Maine is still one of my happy places because it's impossible not to see all of nature's beauty when you are there. From the ocean to the rocky cliffs, from the mountains covered in flora and fauna to the dark night sky penetrated with a million stars that make up the milky way, beauty is everywhere you look in Acadia. People are happy places too, like my family, because wherever they are with me I'm happy. And when they're in Maine with me its pure bliss.

Hiking Cadillac Mountain = Happiness

Exploring Otter Cliffs with my daughter = Happiness

Exploring tide pools through young eyes = Happiness

Picking wild blueberries in this field overlooking
Jordan Pond and The Bubbles = Happiness

Eating lunch on these cliffs after a long hike enjoying THIS VIEW = Happiness

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Join the 31 Day Blog Challenge!

Are you keeping up with the challenge? Head over to Fabulous Finds by Tiffany to link up and read about where other bloggers are happiest. Or you can check out my past Blog Challenge posts here:

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Day 16: My Biggest Accomplishment - 31 Day Blog Challenge

I am happy and I have never felt fulfilled or at peace in my life as much as I do now. I do feelings big and My feelings are often like riding a rollercoaster. I take happy to its' extremes and I hit those lows real hard so its always been a struggle for me to find balance somewhere in there. My emotions aren't out of control at all, they just get very extreme. I like to fully feel things to understand them. I'm a feeler (and a Scorpio) and that's okay. But finding that balance after over coming the biggest struggle and the most intense mix of emotions in my life so far, finding happiness, is my biggest accomplishment.

The biggest test for me in my life came the day my daughter was born. Up until that day I felt blissful and hopeful and I felt like pure happiness was finally within reach. I felt like my life was finally falling into place. And then one morning I woke up to my water breaking a full 5 weeks early. From that moment on I felt as though the rug was ripped out from underneath me when my textbook pregnancy turned into textbook prematurity. And my life turned into an uphill battle from there full of bittersweet moments and just fighting to clear hurtle after hurtle that was thrown in front of us.

On the outside I was strong, supportive, resilient, optimistic, and cautious about the whole ordeal. But on the inside I was in a state of constant and complete shock, I was depressed, I was scared, I was sad and the worst part of it all was that I felt so guilty and embarrassed about the whole situation. I constantly felt like I was being judged and I felt like it was my fault that my daughter was born this way. Mom guilt is a terrible thing.

By my daughter's first birthday I was finally beginning to feel like I could breathe again, like things were finally ok. Her prognosis was hopeful with only a few minor complications to look out for as she continued to grow and kick prematurity to the curb. But right when I finally took that breath, my world collapsed on me again. My relationship with her biological father came to a screeching halt which became a long drawn out year-long (maybe more) process as I learned to find my footing as a single, former stay-at-home, mother.

I became so overwhelmed with stress and everyone's expectations of me that I let myself feel defeated even though I wasn't. I was just so tired of overcoming and looking on the brighter side of things, it was so exhausting. But I still went out and did what I needed to do, moved out, got a job, swallowed my pride and got on with life. On my first day at my new job (which I also refer to as the first day of the rest of my life), my now husband came back into my life.

I don't know where I'd be today without him. He isn't my "savior" but he is my constant and patient companion. He's not the key to my happiness but he's stood there by my side on my quest for true happiness. He's not my red velvet cake but he's definitely the cream cheese icing on top. I'm very independent and he respects that enough to let me do life on my terms and figure things out in my own way.

Life is full of constant "tests" and battles but I was letting all of this overshadow those moments of pure joy that were sprinkled in. I was letting the stress take over and it caused me to become scared of actually living. And then I read this quote and realized I was the one holding myself back:

"Life is too short to wake up with regrets. Love the people who treat you right. Forget about the ones who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy. They just promised it would be worth it." ~Unknown

Reading that quote was like a slap in the face, "duh!" moment. I was taking too much for granted and giving too much power to the wrong feelings or people. And I was wallowing. I didn't wallow when my daughter was sick so why was I doing it now? Everyone goes through such battles like this. So many people out there have been through far worse that I have. But the one thing we all have in common is the realization that giving up or giving in is so easy, yet having the power to never actually give in as you continue to plow through the mess while believing that a sunny day deserves to be in your future. Not losing hope is the biggest achievement when we feel like we've been through hell.

But don't feel bad for me because I did a lot of selfish self loathing and wallowing because I was allowing myself to feel the less than perfect things BIG. But because of this I learned and taught myself with the help of my family, how to be happy. And being happy is my biggest accomplishment yet.

"If you correct your mind, the rest of your life will fall into place." ~Lao Tzu

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Are you keeping up with the challenge? Head over to Fabulous Finds by Tiffany to link up and read about what other bloggers are writing about their biggest accomplishments. Or you can check out my past Blog Challenge posts here:

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Day 3: What Makes You Happy? - 31 Day Blog Challenge

Every mother out there will immediately respond to the question, "What makes you happy?" with the answer, "My child!" Which is true. Our Children bring us inexplicable joy and happiness with their mere existence alone. They can also bring us to our knees in pure frustration that can sometimes be accompanied by tears or even yelling. But it is that joy how ever much or little that can turn an entire day around.

My Daughter loves me unconditionally. She is so encouraging, so selfless, wise beyond her years and quite the conversationalist. She's my other half. We had some troublesome toddler years full of battles she fought to find her footing and boundaries. And even before that as she fought a battle to adjust to life in a modern (not broken) family. And then even before that as she fought and won a battle against prematurity. Through all of this she has grown into an amazing little lady that makes me so proud to be able to say I'm her mother. She makes me happy.

When I'm grouchy or having a bad day, she hugs me gently, gives me a soft kiss on the cheek and curls up next to me never wanting or asking anything of me. She just wants to be there for me. She doesn't just do this for me, she does this for everyone. She's six and always knows the right things to say. She makes me happy.

She is so candidly optimistic. She sees the best in every situation and every person she comes across. If you are not applying yourself to the best of your abilities she will inform you in such an encouraging way. She wants everyone to be good. She wants the world to be good. She wants to do good. She makes me happy.

I have been telling my Husband lately how lucky we are, how good we have it with her. And some opinions may mistake this as bragging. However it may be taken, it is my declaration of gratitude to my Daughter. As cliché as it may be, my answer is simple. My Daughter makes me happy.